SMOKING JOKES


Posted March 1st, 2008 by Administrator No Comments »

Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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On the plane:

There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide.

There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each wing exit.

Mile High Club


Posted February 4th, 2008 by Administrator No Comments »

Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane:
“I think everyone’s asleep, let’s go”
“This one’s empty … no-one’s looking… you go in first”
“It’s a bit cramped - let me sit down”
“Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on”
Sniff sniff
“Ah perfume - you think of everything”
“This is great…..” (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.

“This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you’re doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations… Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!”

Out of Cigarettes


Posted February 4th, 2008 by Administrator No Comments »

Three kayakers paddled 10 kilometers through heavy seas from one island to another. The first kayaker said “I paddled it in 2 hours.” The second kayaker said “I paddled it in one and a half hours because I had a wind at my back.” The third kayaker said “I paddled it in 30 minutes.” The first and second kayaker asked the third kayaker, “How ever did you do that. That’s amazing.” The third kayaker replied, “Because I had run out of cigarettes.”